Fist of all, ugh at the painful motivation it has taken to get this post written! I find that the less I have to do, getting things accomplished is much harder. I have discovered that I do not enjoy having all the time in the world; it drives me mental! I need the pressure of having to get things done. Getting that out of the way, I will now stop waisting your time and get to the topic I wish to discuss.
Growing up, if we couldn't drive there...we didn't travel there. My Mom has always had this deathly fear of flying. And not to blame her (Thanks Mom), but those fears bled over to be a bit. One of my best friends in the entire universe (so close we consider each other family) found out she was having a baby. She and her husband asked my husband and I to be the baby's Godparents. Of course we were thrilled! We shouted yes without even having to think twice! I was dying to be there for the birth of my first Godchild. But, she lives in Washington state...I live in Georgia. You do the math. I had to decide if I was going to let my fears and anxieties get the better of me, or if I was going to woman up, face them and be there for my friend.
In Lord of the Rings, on the eve of a mighty battle, Pippin and Gandalf are looking out across the battle lands from a balcony. Pippin turned to Gandalf and spoke some of the truest words I have ever heard/read. He said, "I don't want to go into battle, Gandalf. But waiting on the edge of what I can't escape is far worse." The anticipation of an event that causes you anxiety, is usually much worse than the actual event. My ticket was purchased in June; I had six months worth of building anticipation.
The night before my trip, I found myself filled with so much nervous energy that I couldn't sit still. I kept myself busy by cleaning and making lists and more lists, then making lists of those lists. I Googled 'what to do at an airport, what not to do at an airport, the best thing to wear at an airport' etc. My hair stylist suggested asking my doctor for something to help calm me down for the plane ride. (Yes, I was pouring out my soul to anyone who would listen. My stylist was a captive audience...don't judge me). I seriously considered that at one point, but decided against it. I figured I needed to feel the fear and then face it head on. Cut to the drive up from Valdosta to Atlanta; it is about a four hour trip. Thankfully, my husband was able to drive me up and until we hit the off-ramp to the airport, I was perfectly ok. We laughed and joked and talked and sang along to music (badly on my part. I just sort of shout the lyrics). The mass scale of the place bowled me over and I was beginning to wish I had taken my stylist's advice. Navigating the airport was stressful for me! Where do I go?! What do I do?! You might be saying to yourself right now, 'God, just calm down and follow the signs!' Which is what I thought I could do until I saw the insane amount of signs they have in an airport!
First order of business, get my boarding pass. The only signs I saw for checking in were things like 'Sky Miles Blue Ridge Mile High Club' or something like that. I finally stopped an employee and asked him where the normal people checked in. He chuckled and asked if this was my first time flying. I wanted to save face and say no, but he had me clocked. So I admitted to it and he said he would check me in. I checked 'get boarding pass' off my list. You think I'm joking. Anyway, I digress. He then pointed me to the baggage check counter and I got through that with a breeze. We sat down at the IHOP and had a $40 lunch consisting of eggs and juice. Ridiculous I say! I then had to say goodbye to my husband and head through the security check....alone. I felt like I was walking The Green Mile. I was sweating profusely. I took the best piece of advice ever given me when doing something new; play follow the leader. That doesn't mean that my heart wasn't beating out of my chest. I swore that I had the pungent scent of a nervous first time flyer oozing out of my pores and that at any moment I would be discovered. However, nobody seemed to notice. (I think I might put 'calmly getting through security' on my acting resume now). I then made my way to my gate and waited. And waited. And waited some more. I was so worked up about the whole thing that I managed to arrive three hours early!
The thing is, I thought the actual flight would be what I freaked out over the most. But once I got sat in my seat and the plane made its way into the air, I calmed down. All the way down. It was the most relaxing feeling. I was sat next to a lovely man that struck up a nice conversation with me. We chatted for a couple of hours before he took a nap and I watched a movie on the screen in the head rest in front of me. As I often do (seriously, this is just one recent example), I had built up this huge ordeal in my head and was making it into something much worse than it actually was. The point is, is that this was something I was always afraid of doing, but I faced it head on and now I'm in Washington awaiting the birth of my Godchild. I'm naturally an adventurous person if you can believe it. I have so many places I want to go and so many thing I want to do! Some of which scare the ever loving mess out of me. But if I let those fears become the reason I don't try, I will regret it for the rest of my life. And I am bound and determined to never have any more regrets.
"All we have to do is decide what to do with the time given us." -Gandalf in The Fellowship of the Ring
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