Milestones

As some of you may or may not know, I turned 30 back in April. I probably should've written this post back then, but oh well. Say la vie. Society dictates that women are supposed to freak out over getting older. And that such freak outs generally begin with turning the big 3-0. Sadly, I was that very cliche for several years. I did not want to get older and between the years of 23 and 28, I would barely want my age to be recognized. But, an amazing thing happened when I hit 29. I stopped caring. Not only that, I began looking forward to my 30th birthday. What brought on this sudden change you ask? Well, I began looking back at the decade that was my 20's, and I saw some scary shit. Like some Pan's Labyrinth type shit. Especially the early years. *shiver* I have changed so much in the last ten years. I have a lot more confidence and am so much more accepting of myself, flaws and all, of which I have plenty (I will sit down an purposefully watch The Kardashians for Christ's sake. If that isn't a character flaw, I don't know what is). I also care less about what people think (Screw you. The Kardashians entertain me!) and I know so much more about who I am as a person now. 

I have also learned many, many....many lessons from making many, many.... many mistakes. Not to say I think I won't make more in my 30's, but the ones I made in my 20's, I never want to re-live again thank you very much. Seriously, I did not have the best decision making skills back in the day. Like I probably shouldn't have listened to so much Sum 41. But I definitely don't listen to them now. I absolutely do not have 'In Too Deep' on my phone's playlist like a loser. Because that would be lame. I mean, who would listen to that crap? A lame, loser person that isn't me,that's who.  

I've wondered if I would like to go back and re-live those years with the knowledge I have now gained. I think I can honestly say no.* Because there were a lot of amazing things that happened that I  would never want to change, and if different decisions were made then those amazing things may never have transpired. Butterfly Effect and all that (I don't care what people say,that was a damn good movie and Ashton was golden). So I'll wear my bad decision scars with the pride of a person that has learned from them and who looks forward towards the future, not back to the past. Everything I have been through has made me into the person I am today. Besides, if you'll forgive the cliche, age is just a number. And I damn well don't act mine. You can ask, well, anyone. My grandma has given me some of the best advice over the years. One such gem was when she told me to never let your inner child die. That you don't have a choice in growing old, but you do have a choice in growing up. And as for me? I refuse. 

Kel

*My brother Stephen says fuck that. He'd go back and change a lot of things. Including, but not limited to, investing in Google and Facebook.