Sometimes I hate to start reading a good book. Because I get the feeling of not wanting to put it down, but at the same time never wanting it to end. For instance, I've recently just finished reading Bad Mother's United, the sequel to Bad Mother's Handbook, written by the brilliant Kate Long. (Side note: if you've never read any of her work then you are seriously missing out. The way Kate writes, its universal. You don't have to be from Lancashire, England to connect with the story or the characters.) I got so involved in the lives of each character. I would create my own little movie in my head and would almost have a visceral reaction to everything they went through. I started reading BMU on Tuesday evening, read until around 2:00 AM! Then I read anytime I had a moment (sitting in carpool waiting to pick my nephew up from school for instance) and finished it up Thursday night. When I get into a story like that, it almost becomes my obsession. And I have a way of tuning everything else around me out when I'm reading. You almost have to slap me in the face to get my attention.
After finishing a book that I have completely immersed myself in, it is like I'm having to pull myself out of a dense fog. I sit there and think "What do I do with my life now?" I can't just snap back to reality. It has to be a slow process. In the meantime, the people around me go on as if I haven't just gone through an emotional trauma. For example, I hadn't finished reading for more than five minutes when Bryant walked in and began trying to carry on a conversation with me. I think I just stared at him blinking for a few seconds thinking to myself, "Don't you realize what I've just gone through?! I can't carry on like nothing happened!" But that's how it is for me, and for other avid readers that I know. The most shattered I think I have ever been is after finishing book 7 of Harry Potter. I had invested a decade of my life in these books. A decade! And when it finally ended I realized I had been holding my breath the entire time. I didn't move from my reading spot for nearly an hour! LOL. And I think it took me about a week to fully come back down to earth. But that's what books are supposed to do to you. If they don't, in my opinion, it means that they weren't written very well.
I was having a discussion with Heather, my brother's girlfriend, the other night on the topic of life altering books. Books that literally affect you forever and that you will probably revisit several times over and want in nicely bound volumes. Those for me would be The Lord of the Rings series, the Harry Potter series, Say You're One of Them and A Thousand Splendid Suns. According to Heather, I need to read the Ender's Game Series and the Dune series. I will have to add them to my never ending list of books I want to read. *sigh*
So, I am now about to start the Divergent series. I have a feeling I will have them read within a few days. I actually just went to see the movie last night and It. Was. Epic. I loved it! But you know what they always say, the book is always better than the movie! Happy Reading Everyone!!!!
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Chronic Illness.
It has been three months since my last confession. I'm kidding...I'm not Catholic. But it has been three months since my last blog post. I'm taking the shame. Honestly, I have had several topic ideas, I just didn't think they were good enough to write about. Then, I noticed the title of my blog. Just. Write. I decided to take my own advice as well as the advice of an amazing group of people that I have me through the internet. That may sound silly to some, but these people have become family to me. I would like to thank you all for your support and encouragement. You know who you are. :)
It may come as a surprise to you that I am actually a very private person. Mainly because I share myself through this blog. But through this blog I control what I do and do not share. What I'm about to share now is very personal.
I have a chronic illness that I have to deal with every day and probably for the rest of my life. I don't know how many of you have heard of Fibromyalgia (which will be shortened to FM for the purposes of this post). I call FM the invisible disease because just to look at me you wouldn't think anything is wrong. However, I deal with pain, amongst many other symptoms, on a daily basis. Ten years ago, people didn't even believe it was a real condition. But now it is quite evident that it is very real. However, doctors still don't understand why people suffer with this illness. They don't know why it strikes us down and so far there is no cure. And there are a lot of people out there who still don't believe we are sick. They think it is a mental thing rather than a physical one. But through extensive studies it has been concluded that it is indeed a physical condition.
It's rather difficult to explain to people what FM is exactly. Especially since I don't fully understand it myself. But I'm going to do my best to try. I'm going to try to explain the pain of FM. Think of the pain signals in the brain like a music amplifier. When pain hits the body in a healthy person, let's say you bump your leg, the pain signals in the brain may go up to a four or five. In someone with FM, the pain signals get confused and the pain level in the brain may go up to ten or even higher. Our bodies are confused as to how to process pain. Weather affects FM pain levels as well. I call myself the human barometer. I can tell when a storm or weather front is coming without so much as a peek at the weather station. Haha! Arthritis also comes along with FM which affects the joints in my body. I deal with some amount of pain every day, but there are times where I have full on flare ups. What flare ups do is make it almost impossible to function. The pain is so bad I have to use a rolling walker just to get to the bathroom and back. I am so fatigued that lifting my pinkie finger literally takes all I can do.
Don't get me wrong. I can have wonderful days where I feel like I can do anything! I tend to over do it on those days, but I enjoy them to the fullest. Recently, the months of December and January have been absolutely amazing. Then came February and March. The flare ups hit me hard and has made it difficult to function and get things accomplished. I push through as hard as I can. In the end, I feel lucky. It sucks having to deal with this every day, but this isn't a disease that will kill me. My Grandmother just went through chemo battling breast cancer. I try to put things into perspective. But it doesn't mean that what I have to deal with isn't rough or any less important. If you have someone in your life that suffers from this illness, please be patient. FM causes so many ups and downs, highs and lows. I can wake up feeling great, then not be able to move by the evening. I now have to limit myself. I used to go hiking, play tag football, soccer, tennis etc. I can still do some of those things only in moderation. It is hard going from a full steam ahead person to having limitations set upon me. But I just deal with it the best I can and push forward. That's really all I can do.
~Kel
I would like to add one more thing. I have an amazing, wonderful, brilliant husband that fully supports me. He takes our wedding vows, for better or for worse, to heart and I couldn't love him any more for it. He is my rock, my safe place. I love you so much. You are my Charming ;) .
It may come as a surprise to you that I am actually a very private person. Mainly because I share myself through this blog. But through this blog I control what I do and do not share. What I'm about to share now is very personal.
I have a chronic illness that I have to deal with every day and probably for the rest of my life. I don't know how many of you have heard of Fibromyalgia (which will be shortened to FM for the purposes of this post). I call FM the invisible disease because just to look at me you wouldn't think anything is wrong. However, I deal with pain, amongst many other symptoms, on a daily basis. Ten years ago, people didn't even believe it was a real condition. But now it is quite evident that it is very real. However, doctors still don't understand why people suffer with this illness. They don't know why it strikes us down and so far there is no cure. And there are a lot of people out there who still don't believe we are sick. They think it is a mental thing rather than a physical one. But through extensive studies it has been concluded that it is indeed a physical condition.
It's rather difficult to explain to people what FM is exactly. Especially since I don't fully understand it myself. But I'm going to do my best to try. I'm going to try to explain the pain of FM. Think of the pain signals in the brain like a music amplifier. When pain hits the body in a healthy person, let's say you bump your leg, the pain signals in the brain may go up to a four or five. In someone with FM, the pain signals get confused and the pain level in the brain may go up to ten or even higher. Our bodies are confused as to how to process pain. Weather affects FM pain levels as well. I call myself the human barometer. I can tell when a storm or weather front is coming without so much as a peek at the weather station. Haha! Arthritis also comes along with FM which affects the joints in my body. I deal with some amount of pain every day, but there are times where I have full on flare ups. What flare ups do is make it almost impossible to function. The pain is so bad I have to use a rolling walker just to get to the bathroom and back. I am so fatigued that lifting my pinkie finger literally takes all I can do.
Don't get me wrong. I can have wonderful days where I feel like I can do anything! I tend to over do it on those days, but I enjoy them to the fullest. Recently, the months of December and January have been absolutely amazing. Then came February and March. The flare ups hit me hard and has made it difficult to function and get things accomplished. I push through as hard as I can. In the end, I feel lucky. It sucks having to deal with this every day, but this isn't a disease that will kill me. My Grandmother just went through chemo battling breast cancer. I try to put things into perspective. But it doesn't mean that what I have to deal with isn't rough or any less important. If you have someone in your life that suffers from this illness, please be patient. FM causes so many ups and downs, highs and lows. I can wake up feeling great, then not be able to move by the evening. I now have to limit myself. I used to go hiking, play tag football, soccer, tennis etc. I can still do some of those things only in moderation. It is hard going from a full steam ahead person to having limitations set upon me. But I just deal with it the best I can and push forward. That's really all I can do.
~Kel
I would like to add one more thing. I have an amazing, wonderful, brilliant husband that fully supports me. He takes our wedding vows, for better or for worse, to heart and I couldn't love him any more for it. He is my rock, my safe place. I love you so much. You are my Charming ;) .
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